August 3rd…

My love,

Today was the worst day of my life. I should have explained myself better when I expressed my feelings. I should have made sure that you fully understood that I do suffer from depression from time to time. I should have made sure that you fully understood that I do not know how to cope with how I am feeling when I’m depressed, instead of just blurting it all out just to get it all off my chest.

No, you do not hurt me, in fact, I am the happiest I had ever been with you. You are always on my mind, and when I think of you, I smile. I love the way that we are with each other, and I love our relationship. I wouldn’t change anything. I know I gave my heart to the right person and you are the love of my life.

As I lay in bed crying, I still think of you holding me and telling me it’s all ok. I hope that it will be ok, eventually. I am hoping that you do not give up on us, but that you don’t give up on me. I hope that you remember that I am new to all this, I am new to relationship that involves love, that involves someone who truly cares for me, that involves a real man. I hope you remember that I am still finding a way to cope when I am depressed.

You decided that it was the end of the line for us, and I am heartbroken. I know that this is all my fault. You are going through some tough times, and in my depression, I forgot to be there for you. I am so sorry that I lost sight of that. I also lost sight of us, and everything that is right in our relationship, which is everything. In my fight with depression, I lost sight of a lot things in life and even felt hopeless.

I know that it is not easy to be with someone like me. You deserve recognition and thanks for putting up with me and all my flaws. All my doubts, all my worries, uncertainties. I understand that reassuring me is a daunting task at times, but it truly does stop the tight grip that depression has on me and it lets me go. You deserve so much for rescuing me countless times, and for saving my life when we first met. Simply saying thank you, doesn’t seem like its enough.

Even though, you called it quits on us I am hoping that we can still move forward, together. I am hoping that once everything has settled down, that we can sit down and put a plan in place for if this happens again. I am hoping that you will change your mind, that there is still an us after all.

I am sorry that I let depression wrap around me and take control. I never meant for any of this to happen and I am truly sorry. I lost the love of my life today. I lost my best friend. I lost the man I dream of marrying. Today is the worst day.

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