I’ve been having a difficult time lately accepting my body, especially because I am being body shamed by people who come into my place of employment.
Now, I do have curves, my curves are my muscular curves from lifting weights three (3) days a week, running and hiking. I was feeling great about it because I just wanted to be fit, and my body would just take its shape naturally. It has.
Lately, I’ve heard a lot of comments about how big my butt is, my butt is really huge, how thick my thighs are, they couldn’t stand to have a huge butt, I need to work on my thighs, I need to make my butt smaller because it’s inappropriate for a lady to have such a huge butt. I’ve heard people say that if their butt was as big as mine they wouldn’t be wearing any type of athletic wear, they comment that my butt is just like Khole Kardashian’s. Then they comment further to say that if I’m not careful, my butt will be as big as Kim Kardashian’s.
I’ve been leaving work and crying on my way home. I’ve been feeling really down about myself, ashamed of my body, embarrassed of how I look, feeling very ugly, and it is depressing.
I suffer from depression. My depression is from past trauma, and it is comments like this that puts it all into full swing. These types of negative comments, bring back all of those horrible memories, all those horrible words of being bullied, and abused by ex’s. It’s been to the point where I considered getting myself back down to being super stick thin just to get the negative comments about me to stop.
The more I though about it, the more I decided that I shouldn’t be changing just to please others. Why am I trying to fit myself into what other’s think I should look like? I decided to tackle this head on, and become mentally stronger. Its all a mental game, and I am still working on becoming a stronger person.
Nobody should be body shamed for any reason. We are all unique individuals. Nobody should be changing who they are to please others. Our uniqueness is what makes us great.
It will take some time to not let their words cut so deep. Eventually, I will be strong enough to ignore their words and to know that I am perfect just the way that I am.