Week Two…

Well, I believe it is technically week two (2) of being safer at home, especially since everything closed. but it feels like six (6) months so far. All I have been doing is sleeping for about two (10) hours again including having nightmares all night long, and finding the motivation to get things done like school, exercise. I have been reporting to work only when I am required to because I am considered an essential employee.

I never would have thought that I’d see a pandemic in my lifetime. So far, I am not ok, but I do feel like I am getting better. Slowly. Slowly I am getting better. Not being able to go out unless it’s for essential things (grocery shopping, gas station, exercise, work) makes me feel like I am a prisoner in my own home. This feeling of course is a trigger for me.

In the past, I was not allowed to go outside not even to hang out with friends. I couldn’t go shopping, I couldn’t go out for a walk, I couldn’t go to the gym, etc. My time was spent waiting on my abuser. Even though I have been free from my abuse (ex-husband) for eight (8) years now, this situation is bringing back all those horrible feelings and situations.

I know this is the real reason why I am not ok with the “safer at home” semi-quarantine that is happening. Also, during this semi-quarantine I have found other triggers that I am dealing with at the same time. It has been very difficult for me to function on days, and some days I don’t feel like waking up at all. All I have been doing is focusing on getting a head in my classes. I know it will lessen my stress, give me more time to workout at home, relax, decompress, and be my mellow self.

Going on week three……


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.